The start of it

I started blogging because let's be honest I love writing and wanted people to read what I wrote. But I also started this particular blog to help myself heal after the birth of my daughter, and continue to blog today because not too many people live like I now live.
5th wheel living is pretty incredible.  But how did this happen?  When Patrick and I got married he suggested that we buy one of those pole barns sitting outside of Lowes or Home Depot and buy some land, renovate the barn into a home with a loft bedroom and add a bathroom.  I thought he was crazy and wanted nothing to do with it... now I know that while to him it was a whimsical idea to save money, there was probably a lot more benefit than I knew to the idea, but I needed to get over my dream of a perfect place to entertain and raise kids... had I managed that back then maybe my dreams would be reality now.
God takes us through journeys to get us where he wants us, sometimes the journey has a short cut, like buying land and a pole barn, but I am grateful for all I have learned by not doing that,  I am grateful to have met so many people through the journey I went on instead.  People like Carrie, she grew up very near to where I did in Michigan but we never would have met if Patrick hadn't been stationed in San Diego.  Or Vanessa,  also in San Diego,  and my pen pal because we like hand written letters more than bills and grocery store fliers. Or Laura who now calls me when she cleans her bathroom (and though I have no idea what her bathroom looks like right now I do wish she were cleaning it today because I miss her) I never would have dreamed of living in her neck of the Michigan woods, but I did and I loved it because of her. And what about the people my children have met? Caeden recently wrote or rather drew stories for his friends and he hasn't seen most of the ones he drew for in a year.
These journeys of life are amazing,  I would not trade them for anything.  Thank you Lord.
There have been eye opener moments all along this road though. One such moment was when Patrick was offered the job in Oklahoma that eventually lead to us being in a 5th wheel in Pennsylvania.  At that moment I just knew something seemed to warn me that this journey wasn't cut and dry the way it seemed. I needed to talk to someone about it. I bought a coke and a diet coke at burger king and went to see Laura who talked me through my thoughts and prayed with me.
In that time with her a few things were happening,  I was confirming her fear that by being my friend she was opening herself to pain because I would leave again one day, and I was working through my own fear of packing a house while getting ready to deliver a child and moving shortly afterward... I had no idea what God had in store for me, but I knew it was meant for good, and I had a feeling it was going to hurt.  It did hurt but God sustained me through it all. I'm thankful that Laura was the one I could go to. Any other friends would have talked me through it and prayed in their quiet time but not right on the spot with me, what a blessing to have those prayers right in the moment!
Thank you Laura,  thank you God.