No I'm not going to hop a plane out of here but I am leaving today. We all are! Today we embark on a new yet familiar journey.
In March of 2006 I helped my best friend move across the country to be with her military husband. It felt a bit exciting and a bit like a punch in the gut. It was supposed to be me marrying a man of adventure and living in military housing. I don't know why but I always thought I would live in a shabby 70's built military house at the end of a dead end street.
I was so happy for her but had shut off my dreams of motherhood to both celebrate her marriage and help her move, and beyond that to preserve myself and begin whatever it was God had decided was better for me than motherhood and marriage to a military man.
And then as we pulled up to the parking lot not one but two men got out of my friends husband's vehicle. True to my promise to God I barely looked at the 2nd man. I did not notice the way he looked at me, I didn't notice how handsome he was, I didn't notice anything but the fact that he was there and I would have to offer to let him ride with me on base so that my friend could ride with her husband in his two seated car.
Fast forward to June of the same year and not only do I see this man, but I am moving into an apartment in Oklahoma City to be near him (and out of my parents house). I will clarify that we did not live together.
Fast forward again to April 2007 and I am traveling with him to Michigan where my family is and celebrating our marriage vows. His family came to of course, we just had the wedding in Michigan to save too many people from traveling (his family is spread over several states and mine only lived in a small portion of Michigan so it made sense.
Ever since we have called Oklahoma home. We had to leave when the military sent us to San Diego, California but have wanted to return ever since.
We have had a few chances but usually Patrick goes to prepare for us to follow and for one reason or another it doesn't happen. Today however nothing is stopping us!
Who would have thought so much could change in so short a time? In 2006 I was pretty much at the bottom of the barrel so to speak. Giving up all my dreams. Turning them over to a heavenly father who I knew would care for me. And now 2014 is almost gone and I have done it again only with a husband and three children. ..and both times God has pulled through and provided exactly what I had always wanted but given over to his capable hands!
Friday, October 24, 2014
No I'm not going to hop a plane out of here but I am leaving today. We all are! Today we embark on a new yet familiar journey.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
What is more exciting than a vacation? Going home!
I have not been on vacation for the last five years, more like on a spiritual journey. God has brought me through loneliness, PTSD, a c-section, a miscarriage, several moves, making new friends, having a home birth, and many other things, some stressful and some joyous.
I am closer now to God than ever before. He didn't need to prove himself to me, but he has. Over and over again.
And now after 5 years I am going home!
I have been dreaming of the things that need doing once we arrive. And I would like to share my ideas.
1. In Oscoda I learned that gardening can be fun and I enjoyed the fruit of my labors. We have a bunch of old fence pieces our Tennant said he would dispose of and never did, so I decided to build a garden box. A really big one. And prepare for spring now while cleaning up the back yard.
2. The 2nd bedroom needs a coat of paint and I am going to start readying it to be a boys bedroom. Caeden wants it to be dragon themed.
3. Currently we have no beds for the children to sleep on, for a few weeks we will give them their mattresses from the 5th wheel and then a friend has offered us their guest bed, and Caeden and Fia will share that while Patrick and I make them some bunk beds that convert to two twin beds. Once they are finished I will put one in Sapphira's room and one in the boys room and move Micah in with Caeden in his pack 'n play until he is big enough for a big boy bed, at which point I will build a canopy bed for Fia.
4. Begin collecting used furniture that will fit the style and size of our home si we can return the things borrowed from our friends.
5. When we bought our home there was a large tree stump in the front yard. It was ugly and I wondered how we could get rid of it, but then it started to grow. I tended it the first year we lived there trimming back the branches that stretched towards the house but leaving those that stretched toward God. Today it is a giant tree but only a little taller than the house. So I am going to tend to its branches some more. There are also some bushes in front of the house that Patrick and I have always thought were not right. So I plan to remove them and make some flower boxes to put in their place.
Overall I plan to beautify my home and make it a haven. There are other things we plan to do as well, like replace the roof, but that isn't something I personally can do so it isn't detailed here.
I can't wait to get started on these projects!
Monday, October 13, 2014
Women living well has set about challenging women to take control over themselves and the atmosphere of their home and I have been joining in, not on the scale I would like to be but I am indeed doing it.
The first challenge was to light a candle every day and let that remind me to stay in prayer. Keeping my thoughts close to God and communicating with him through out the day has certainly helped me keep my cool a bit better. Especially when I have not been sleeping well and tend to loose it more easily.
Today she has posted the second challenge. Soft music. I find this one to be very difficult. ..If lighting a candle in a 5th wheel wasn't hard (I had to make sure it could be set somewhere it wouldn't burn the whole house down and there isn't anywhere that my kids can't get to it and blow it out because who doesn't like to blow out candles? But this second one has the potential to either help or severely hinder my peace. I have what is called cookie bite hearing loss and background noise can incredibly irritating to me, and my space is rather small so all noises are wrapped up in a tight space here.
I'm going to try it though because I certainly need peace. I have it about so many things but peace towards the children I have been failing at. And bless their hearts Caeden and Sapphira have both recently received Jesus in their hearts (expect to read about that soon...) but Caeden has been displaying signs of a volatile temper and I know it is because his mother has done so poorly holding hers lately.
Apparently I'm up for the day now, though I wish I could sleep some more. Micah has woken up. Good morning world.
Join in with me in the fall challenges at http://womenlivingwell.org/?p=16567
I look forward to hearing from you about how you are doing.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
I didn't think I would be writing this post for at least another year, but here I am writing it. Things are once again changing for our family. The changes are not unwelcome, but they are pretty unexpected.
A few weeks back Patrick put his resume in with a company down in Oklahoma and they finally got back to him and he tested for the job on friday. .. He passed with flying colors and should be receiving the details of his new job soon. Since we did in fact put a resume in ourselves, that part of the news is not unexpected.
We own a house in Oklahoma and have been renting it out to a friend who after we signed up to have a leasing agent care for the home, he decided to move on. When the leasing agent saw and reported all the work that needed doing the grand total for time and supplies was close to $3000.00. Wow! It is in need of a lot of love but is also livable, so we were prepared to pay for the work, but then they informed us there is a leak in the bathroom from the roof that needs repair and they won't move anyone in until the work is done. Which as a tenant I can totally understand but from my perspective it it awful because on top of the $3000 we have to pay, we will end up paying for another month of our mortgage while they are not even caring for our home by filling it with some tenants.
So we decided to move back in.
A year ago we were making this same move only with a ton of stuff, now we are making it with very little stuff.
A year ago we were expecting a new baby, now all my Oklahoma friends are having babies. ..One was born yesterday, another is scheduled to arrive on Wednesday. And another early next month, and another in January.
A year ago we were following money, now we are following God. To be honest I felt God was leading us before, but Patrick confided in me that he has learned a lot from God regarding money and security over the last year and now feels he is following God's will more than before.
A year ago we were derailed in that plan by a loving heavenly father who had a plan to teach his children a love lesson.
I have a lot of trials ahead of me concerning furniture, but God has already brought our friends in to save the day and loan us several things to make due until we have our own.
I will still attempt to post 5th wheel living moments until we are officially done with it but it won't be many.
Closing this chapter will certainly be bittersweet.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Alright you ready for a schedule workout? My schedule has become fat and because of it I am left breathless most days.
Here is a typical day.
5:30am wake up with Patrick to make and pack his breakfast and lunch for work.
5:45 am if I had a good night's sleep I will stay up and do my bible study I'm averaging 2 or 3 out of every 5 week days on this currently.
6:45 am check email and attempt to blog if the children allow such time.
7:30am if I have not already done so, get up (all other items are done in bed after I make Patrick's lunch)
8am breakfast for anyone who hasn't had any yet and we begin wrangling clothing on all my little ones and diaper changes.
9 am (yes it takes that long to get everyone dressed) wash dishes
9:30am begin school with Caeden
11 am put micah down for a nap while the older two watch a movie and practice their penmanship
12 PM lunch
1 PM nap time for Caeden and Fia and depending on how the 11 am nap went for Micah possibly for him. Begin preparing dinner. And if Caeden has not finished school help him to finish.
1-3:30pm alternate between attempting to clean, make necessary phone calls (which have to be done outside), and correct bad behavior from children who should be resting.
2pm put micah down for his nap if I didn't at 1pm
3:20 PM Patrick gets home and we spend a quick 10 minutes catching up on the details of our day
3:30pm let the children up so they can spend time with daddy while I pack our gym bags or prepare for grocery shopping (we only have one day a week where neither of these things are necessary)
4pm out the door for either the gym or shopping.
6:30pm after returning from our outing Patrick turns on the TV and watches with the kids while I prepare and serve dinner. Caeden and Fia clear the table.
7 pm eat dinner
7:30pm get the kids ready for bed nurse Micah, read bedtime stories
8pm cuddle with Micah while we wait for the other two to fall asleep.
9 pm go to bed and attempt to talk to Patrick until he falls asleep and lay awake for another hour.
10:30 - 11 PM fall asleep
11pm-5:30am sleep until interrupted by a crying baby
Rinse and repeat.
So how do I find time to clean? Lately I don't and that is one reason why my fat schedule needs to tone down.
What will I do? To be honest I don't have much of a plan except that I'm going to slow down on the activities for school. Caeden won't like that but he will get more play time so hopefully that will make up for it. We will continue working on spelling (which is really penmanship and sight word memorization), math and reading. And that is the plan for at least this week but possibly the whole rest of the month.
The funny thing about this is that this month we are focusing on the character trait of 'orderliness' so it kinda fits well. I'm so glad I prayed over our schedule and asked God to show me what sections to put where because this is coming at such a perfect time. After Halloween we are taking a whole month off while the children and I go to Oklahoma for the birth of a new cousin.
And then we should be totally ready to jump fully back into school and do all subjects with vigor and excitement.
I'm looking forward to seeing my house come back together and my schedule slimming down though! I seriously doubt one week will be enough time to achieve it but one day at a time has always been my goal for the home and children so we shall see how it goes.
How are things going in your home? Do you have time for God? Do you feel like your schedule needs a workout or diet to?
Monday, October 6, 2014
So I'm a few days late on this... I guess you will get two this week.
When we bought our home on wheels we had to consider where everyone would sleep naturally. .. but we didn't know certain details about sleep that would come into play only last night.
The weather is starting to turn colder and to save on propane we are working on making our home more energy efficient but so far they are only ideas and not put into practice just yet.
Patrick and I keep each other warm at night, well Patrick keeps both of is warm is probably a more accurate statement. So we just throw on an extra blanket and close our thick curtain and keep pretty warm while the temps are still at or above the 90's at night.
The kids however don't sleep together and even if they did wouldn't provide much heat for each other. So their room is a little different. We started out the night with a space heater that at its worst is a little warm to touch and so is safe for the kids, though we have educated both Caeden and Fia that it should not be played with. And I secured a pillow to Micah's window since his space is the worst for collecting cold air. I intend to winterize a bit better soon, possibly even today depending on how the day goes.
At 2:30am Micah woke up, he wasn't going back to sleep but was quiet so I stayed in the bedroom with him and the heater (we set the heater to 60 so it was pretty chilly in the living room). While in the room I noticed not one but several things I might not have otherwise noticed.
1. Micah's bed is like a cave, dark and cold. Even with the heater in the room it was the coldest part of the room.
2. Heat rises... duh right? But that's a pretty big problem for a certain little girl who sleeps at the top of the room and has eczema. All the moisture was being sucked out of her part of the room.
3. Caeden has the best sleeping situation. Window with a good solid curtain, and a thick blanket that he is old enough to know how to keep it on while sleeping.
4. Magically the cord on the heater is much longer than I thought it was and the heater can be placed on the floor rather than the very tall cupboard.
5. And Fia will sleep through a full body lotion application.
So what to do? Well mostly just moving that heater and lotioning Fia were the biggest fixes. With the heater on the floor some of that glorious heat was hitting the bottom of Fia's bed and billowing down into Micah's cave like bed and getting trapped.
I have plans for the future to make a large curtain to cover the doorway in this room and to insulate the storage space under the beds. But this things are for another post.
Friday, October 3, 2014
*as always the letter below is a personal letter to God from my time with God. I try to spend time with him daily by reading his word (at least a chapter sometimes more), doing a daily devotional (currently I'm using "Jesus calling, enjoying peace in his presence"), and writing God a letter. This is not meant for training or teaching, it is just my personal devotion to gain a better relationship with my savior, and become a better wife and mother. I hope you enjoy it.
Dear Lord of All,
In my bible study two verses stuck out to me, or was it three? I'm so tired I don't know.
Psalm 13:6 "I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me." NRSV
This was actually just after the one mentioned in my devotional, but it is how I feel. The devotional talked about supernatural responses, and I could very easily look at my circumstances and feel entitled to more, but I don't feel that way at all. Instead I feel blessed and abundantly provided for. Instead of missing what I do not have, I am thankful for all I do have. I am covered by grace and happy with my life.
The other verse that stuck out was in Hebrew 12. At one point I had most of this chapter memorized, but I don't anymore, it was before Caeden was born, and I've only just got back into verse memorization again.
Hebrew 12:11 "now discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." NRSV
Oh these children try me! Yesterday was a grace filled day. I never lost my temper, which in the few days before I am ashamed to say I did. Yesterday the children were not better behaved, I didn't discipline them differently, but I was different. I did not yell. I did not plead. I did not cry over their disobedience. I simply disciplined them when discipline was needed and spoke calmly to them about the change in behavior that I expected to see in the future, and slowly they came around and began to obey. Was it the perfect obedience I wanted and hoped for? No, but it was better than where we started so I will take it and hope for more tomorrow.
I have been tired and emotionally drawn, and in that have resorted to emotional outbursts which I have then seen in Caeden, and I don't like it in him, so I'm certain he doesn't like them in me and is confused by what I expect of him when I have been a bad example for him. So thank you Lord for helping me break the cycle yesterday, and I am asking you to help me to be a better example for him, and Fia and Micah as well.
Thank you Lord for your grace.