*as always the letter below is a personal letter to God from my time with God. I try to spend time with him daily by reading his word (at least a chapter sometimes more), doing a daily devotional (currently I'm using "Jesus calling, enjoying peace in his presence"), and writing God a letter. This is not meant for training or teaching, it is just my personal devotion to gain a better relationship with my savior, and become a better wife and mother. I hope you enjoy it.
Dear Lord of All,
In my bible study two verses stuck out to me, or was it three? I'm so tired I don't know.
Psalm 13:6 "I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me." NRSV
This was actually just after the one mentioned in my devotional, but it is how I feel. The devotional talked about supernatural responses, and I could very easily look at my circumstances and feel entitled to more, but I don't feel that way at all. Instead I feel blessed and abundantly provided for. Instead of missing what I do not have, I am thankful for all I do have. I am covered by grace and happy with my life.
The other verse that stuck out was in Hebrew 12. At one point I had most of this chapter memorized, but I don't anymore, it was before Caeden was born, and I've only just got back into verse memorization again.
Hebrew 12:11 "now discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." NRSV
Oh these children try me! Yesterday was a grace filled day. I never lost my temper, which in the few days before I am ashamed to say I did. Yesterday the children were not better behaved, I didn't discipline them differently, but I was different. I did not yell. I did not plead. I did not cry over their disobedience. I simply disciplined them when discipline was needed and spoke calmly to them about the change in behavior that I expected to see in the future, and slowly they came around and began to obey. Was it the perfect obedience I wanted and hoped for? No, but it was better than where we started so I will take it and hope for more tomorrow.
I have been tired and emotionally drawn, and in that have resorted to emotional outbursts which I have then seen in Caeden, and I don't like it in him, so I'm certain he doesn't like them in me and is confused by what I expect of him when I have been a bad example for him. So thank you Lord for helping me break the cycle yesterday, and I am asking you to help me to be a better example for him, and Fia and Micah as well.
Thank you Lord for your grace.