I feel like I'm failing. There are so many things required of my time and none of them are getting a sufficient amount except perhaps my husband who though he is getting good attention and lots of love is also getting a lot of grumpy lady lately. The gym membership has been wonderful because I'm getting showers and tiny breaks from the children but it is bad because I use a lot of energy and Micah isn't sleeping through the night this week. And because my husband wants us ready to go as soon as he gets home which means I have to pack both of our gym bags and make sure the kids are ready to go with snacks and water, and Micah has been fed and had a nap. .. makes gym days pretty hectic until about 3:30pm.
Plus we were on track to end school two weeks before next school year began but now we are closer to one week of vacation because this week has been so crazy and we have not kept up in all subjects.
I'm having attitude problems this week too. Which of course means my children are too. The funny thing is, though my attitude stinks I have actually managed not to yell much at all, a goal I set for myself last week. .. To stop yelling. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be but I really think it is God's grace that is helping me through it considering my horrible attitude.
My bad attitude is not just affecting the things mentioned above but also my thankfulness. I have until this week really been enjoying living in our 5th wheel. .. But this week I'm not to thankful for it. I want so badly to be near friends and don't want to start over again in making friends. It is hard work, putting yourself out there to be judged by others and hoping you come out as a valuable relationship and then when you leave saying goodbye and trying hard to maintain the relationships but not really having much time to do it. Honestly it stinks and takes a long time to do, just to leave again in the end.
I feel that way about being a doula too... I love my job but it is hard work to put yourself out there as much as you have to, and then when rejection happens it honestly hurts but you have to remain professional, no crying or begging.
So I guess my little house simple life really isn't too simple. I'm still drowning in dishes and laundry, still trying to be a good wife and mother, still trying to make friends in a world that promotes loneliness.
Sorry for my bad attitude. I will be praying and trying to improve on that before posting again, I just hoped to show you that though I love my life it isn't all sunshine and happiness.
Mommy and Me
Sharing life with you is fullfilling
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Little House on the rv lot
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have days like this too, where everything seems to be going but at a faster rate than I can possibly keep up and before I notice it I am in a foul disposition and not good company for the family I so dearly love. It's not gym days for me, just life getting more busy than I am able to keep up with mentally sometimes. The really crazy thing, I plan this out. *big smile/small sigh* That's when I know we have too much on our schedual so, as the homeschool mom - I start talking to the family and praying really trying to consider what is worth our time and what needs to be cut. God is good to make the communication among us clear and by this time I am so desperate to hear His voice in what is best that I can actually hear Him. I wish you all the best in not yelling, sometimes I find I do it in play with our two growing blessings durring the day if we have a lot of built up ... something ... *smile* and just need to yell a bit. We will stand in different parts of our home and hollar something funny. Our son is great with this and then our daughter and I join in. It's a sort of commic releif when our neighbors are close side to side even though we have a nice spot of land to call our own, it's long and narrow rather than spacious from the neighbors. *smile* Have a great day. Sincerely, Mommy of two growing blessings & so much more!
ReplyDelete