I couldn't fall asleep tonight, I don't know why but every night as I lay down lately I start thinking of cabbage patch dolls and whether there has ever been one named the same as F. Her name is so unique that it just makes me wonder who else, or what else has her name.. and I'm kinda obsessed with getting her a cabbage patch doll some day.... so I got up after trying for 30 minutes to sleep.
And this search on the internet to discover how to name a cabbage patch doll after F made me realize two things, 1. I don't want her to have a doll by her own name, and 2. I still don't know the true meaning of C's name...
I feel guilty sometimes because I made this huge deal out of knowing what I'm speaking over my children when I name them. C's first name has been unclear, I've seen it said that it means spirited, companion, warrior, fighter, and round... that is a lot of different ways to take a name! And then his middle name because P loved it so much became E, which means Boar... what am I doing to my first born? Is he a spirited boar?
GAH... so that of course made me want to look up once again the meaning of C's name.
And I found an awesome site, that backed up some information I'd already found on other names and explained things a little more clearly for me. the website is www.babynamespedia.com.
C's name according to that sight means round. and his middle name doesn't just mean boar, it means 'brave like a boar'. And all this time I was thinking it meant stubborn like a boar.
I'm once again proud of the name I gave him... I think it makes him both well 'round'ed and brave!
So now that that is cleared up I looked up F's name, just for fun.. I've known what her name means since WAY before she was named it. and the meaning... Sapphire. Which is Hebrew for Beautiful... and I have to agree she is beautiful. But then there is her middle name, L.... and that one I've known from the beginning too, but why did I do that to her? It means Lioness, or Lion, or female lion.. whatever you want to say. So I have a round boar and a beautiful lion in my house!
And then because it is a passion of mine to look up names, and combinations of names, and just to know in general what names mean I looked up the name that would have been C's. And one day God willing will be our second son's name. M. O. And it is a glorious name, and whenever we have another child I will pray that it is a boy, because of this name. It gives me hope of restoration.
M means "who is like God?" and O means "lamb" or "yahweh is gracious"...
Wouldn't it be grand if after all the pain and anguish I went through to deliver F, my beautiful lioness, into this world God gave me another birth more like C's, that would remind me that he alone is able to create life and bring it into this world in a fantastic and natural way.. that he is the greatest doctor, that he created the woman's body to deliver babies through the natural path that he created, and not through a hole that was put on her stomach by a surgeon's knife.
God is gracious, and his timing is perfect! And one day I will have my baby M, but just for the record, I'm not ready yet. And neither is P. We talked about it the other day and he was so funny, what he said made me laugh. "Well as soon as we get back to Oklahoma and I get a job I know you are going to want a baby." I was thinking "under normal circumstances I'd want a baby NOW... but these here are not normal circumstances and I don't know when I'll be pinning for a baby, but it certainly isn't now."
I'm so glad though that God is bringing me around all these hurtles and up to his gracious healing hands! He truly is the only doctor worth taking my broken life to! (this is not to say that Doctors are not wonderful and gifted, but that my God is a better healer than them all.)
btw.. just looked up my own middle name.. apparently we have two lions in the family! My first name means Listener of God, and my middle means 'lion, brave, hardy'
and P's name means nobleman, and his middle name W, means cart maker. So all together we are
Nobleman Cart maker, Listener of God Brave, Round Brave like a Boar, and Beautiful Lioness.... ahh what a family of doers!