God is so good to me.

I'm exhausted, off and on all day I have felt tears coming on but I managed to make it through the day without spilling any. I promise nothing about tomorrow.  I never could have made it through today if not for Brenna and Kyle.
Kyle came over after he got out of work, didn't even get a chance to relax just went straight to work helping me load the trailer which in the end he pretty much did all by himself.  And then just over half way done Brenna came over and entertained the kids and carried Micah around and helped me bag up some last lingering items. 
Kyle stuffed the trailer so well that all I have to do tomorrow is putt a couple twin sized mattresses in the back of the truck and tie them down.  Easy peasy. But I never never never could have done it without his help. He was out there saving space by filling dresser drawers and Patrick's tool box with loose items to make more space!
Caeden was going crazy (its how he deals with stress,  bouncing of walls), Fia was super emotional,  Micah was sleepy,  they were just insane,  all of them, but then Brenna showed up like an angel she just took over with the kids and I was able to breathe a little better.
After they left I took the kids to get dinner at Bob Evans and got one of their meals free because it is Tuesday evening.  And then came back home and prepared some beds out of blankets on the floor,  I'm sure to wake up stiff in the morning but it is only one night.
Inspection at 3 or 3:30pm tomorrow.  Patrick will be testing all day at his potential new job.  We both have a lot on our plates tomorrow.. my prayers are due to be non stop all day and night.

This is the life I live.

The life I live is in an uproar!  P got the test results back from his E5 exam, and there are things about to happen that will totally change everything I've known in my married life forever.  Not of course in a bad way, or an unbearable way, but more like in a uncertain of anything that is happening to us way.
The result of the test was that the Navy will no longer be using him... we are OUT.  So since marriage I've been a navy wife, now I'm a civilian wife, but wait... civilians NEVER call themselves civilians.. they are people with lives outside of the military, they never think about the military unless it effects them some how...
Well since we are not going to be a military family anymore that means that we lose our house, our income, P's job, and our medical coverage.  SHOOT our medical coverage?!? 
Before making that cut did the military consider that they have my daughter on like 5 medications right now?  EEK!  We never thought about the possibility that we'd NEED that coverage for more than just emergencies.  But even if we had thought of it we would have been in the same boat. 
So what will we do now?  I guess be normal people with normal jobs, and go back to Oklahoma.  San Diego was never our cup o' joe anyway, too expensive.  So now we are house hunting, job hunting, and finance figuring. 
You may be wondering how this all ties into the whole theme of my blog, my journey to emotional healing for this darn c-section and the trauma I experienced because of it... well it doesn't, except that I actually think that this is pretty small beans compared to that sort of anguish.  Maybe a horrible c-section makes it easier not to sweat the small stuff.. (even if this event really does transform my entire life from here on out).
The plan: 
1. Find a house in Oklahoma
2. make sure it is liveable and in our price range
3. Move into it
4. Find Patrick a job (this one is not necessarily in order of occurance)
5. Live happily ever after.
I think it is do-able...lol!