Happy 5th of July

No time to post yesterday. .. so you get a 'day after' post.
Happy 5th of July!
Yesterday was a pretty good day.  I had mini attitude issues and got through them.  I find that I'm jealous of my husband when life starts to overwhelm me and I feel like I'm running to hard for to long to keep it all going.  He works 5 days a week and then gets to come home and not work.  Lol!  At least that is my perspective,  he actually does help us out at home a lot, like yesterday he worked a half day and came home and we all went out to a park that was hosting festivities.  After that I made some hamburger patties and he grilled our dinner, built a fire so we could make smores, took care of some trash that was just laying around and then helped me get everyone in bed.  Which is a lot more than nothing. 
We intended to watch the fireworks but someone said there would be some here at the campground but didn't know if it would be today or tomorrow.  We let the kids stay up until after dark which is to say an hour and a half past bedtime, but no fireworks were going off so we concluded they must be tomorrow.  Then as in some grand joke they began the fireworks display about 3 minutes after tucking them into bed. I wasn't about to get them up again since they were both so tired that they were crying about things they wouldn't have ordinarily cried about (such as a new found hatred for helium balloons because they always fly away).
Caeden and I had a good talk about why God created things that go away but bring us joy while they last.  This life is temporary. 
This life is temporary,  do you hear that?  Only life with Jesus is forever. My children teach me that every day as I look at them and see them growing so quickly.  God gave me these babies to love, raise, and teach about his love, but they are not really mine, they are God's, and one day they will be grown.  I comfort myself knowing that we have God inspired technology that will help me to communicate with them even after they leave my home, but when they are grown I pray I have done my job for them well.
Oh how I pray I will have taught them to love the Lord with all their hearts and to love each other as themselves.  I pray they will have a steadfast joy in their hearts the kind that seeps out of them and into the hearts of those they come in contact with.
I pray that jealousy will find no place to take root in their lives, that they will be happy for the good fortune of others and content in their own good fortune.  That they will find spouses that love Jesus and walk humbly with God together.
I have always prayed for my children but now that I'm seeing Caeden starting to make his own choices in life and I know the end of a season has come for us, now I pray even harder.  I feel like prayer is my greatest weapon against the sins that my children are about to face head on.  I protect, guide, and disciple them but they make their own choices. 
My biggest prayers for them currently are obedience,  joyfulness,  and contentment.  Couldn't we all use those?
What are your prayers for your children?

Adventure awaits me

Anyone who knows me well knows I am pretty much terrified of needles.  I steeled myself against the possibility of a needle today and went into urgent care to have them tell me why my range of motion in my wrist was down to about a1/3 of what it should be.  I felt brave. I felt confident. I felt like I could handle it, or at least try to.
There are only a few possibilities of what could be wrong, one of them being a ganglion cyst.  I'm familiar with them, I have one on the other side of my wrist, both of them actually. But this seemed harder smaller and affects my movement much more than the ones I'm used to, so the idea that it could be a ganglion cyst both comforted me and terrified me.  Comfort because it is better than some of the alternatives,  terrified because the treatment for it involves a needle extracting the fluid in it and another needle putting something back into it.  Two needles sounds like just the way to get me to faint and make a complete fool of myself.
I was so brave.  I went in alone to the doctors office. I waited cheerfully to see him.  He came in took a quick look at my wrist and sent me packing with a referral to a doctor that he trusts deeply and whom he always refers these sorts of things to because he is the best. .. And as a bonus to me he is a family doctor and charges less than a surgeon would. .. yup ganglion cyst.  So lucky me I do get a needle shoved in my wrist.  Oh I'm dreading it!  But I'm brave I can do it.  But it scares me much more than having babies ever did.  I can do this!  By God's grace I will do this!

Breaking prejudice

Patrick and I have been looking for a church we could call home since arriving in Pennsylvania.  After trying two churches and not loving either of them I decided to talk to God a bit more in depth about it.  First I prayed that we would be invited to eat with people from the church we should attend. ..I prayed this during service at the second church and it was crazy after service no one talked to us at all.
Then sometime last week I wrote in my journal (which is a collection of letters I write to God) a list of things I hoped to find in the church God would have us attend. Here is my list.
1. An engaging children's service that teaches each of my children at their level about bible concepts.
2. A worship service that is engaging, uninterrupted and truely draws the presence of the Holy Spirit.
3. A pastor who preaches to the hearts of his people, calling out their sins but helping to guide them toward Christ with teaching relevant and applicable to our lives.
4. A family of believers that will become our family and one so welcoming that making friends will not take long.
5. Activities during the week that will draw us closer in the community of the church, relationships with you, and service to others. 6. A man among this church that will love Patrick as a father.  Someone who can be his mentor and friend. Someone who can also be a grandpa to our children and whose wife can do the same for me.
Each of these things have been added to a growing list of desires for the church we would one day be able to stay at.  Each of them very important to us.  Your list might look different and that isn't bad but this is ours.
Then something amazing happened.  We had two choices of churches to try this week,  one looked very up beat and new but the Web site said very little about their beliefs which worried me,  the other looked about like the last two we went to, and they both had not met our needs.  We decided to go with the one whose beliefs were posted clearly on the Web site.  Sandyhills community church is the name of it.  I'm not one to post a bad review about a church so the fact that I'm naming the church should mean a great deal.  I loved it.  As we were walking up to the doors there were two causally dressed greeters, both dressed in pants,  one male, one female, they were having a friendly competition to see who could get more people through each door.
Inside we were greeted again, this time by the pastors wife she is a grandmotherly woman with a lovely smile and so helpful! She pointed out where we needed to go to get the children situated in their classes, and answered my questions about the service.  The pastor came directly to us and introduced himself and took special care to introduce himself to our children saying they were "very important people" which I found very sweet.
Once service started we enjoyed singing songs we knew well and could really come into the presence of God.  The worship was uninterrupted, which you may have noticed was important to us.  The message was good.  It was relevant,  and I learned something I didn't know before (In case your interested he taught on Luke ch. 7 and spoke about John the Baptist).
I met a woman pregnant for her 6th child, all of those children were present for the whole service and sat right behind us and we're quiet as mice too.  After service I was invited to the park on Wednesday by this woman and she stayed to talk to us after most everyone else was gone.
Another grandmotherly woman who had sat in front of me invited us to her home that evening.  Which was such a blessing.  Her husband and his cousins were playing Bluegrass music together for fun. I sang "I'll fly away" with them.  We ate pizza, we even let Sapphira have pizza with cheese on it that night.  They took us in like family.  I have not felt so welcomed by strangers in such a long time.  They even invited us to a family reunion they are having... which is funny but I totally want to go!
The funniest thing about all of it is that our preconceived ideas would have kept us from attending at all if we had known what denomination they were before walking into the church.  I knew from the Web site that they believed the same as we did, but hadn't seen anything with a denomination on it.  But when I asked, I learned,  they are menonite (I hope I'm spelling that correctly)
In our minds the menonites were one step away from Amish, girls in dresses with coverings on their heads. .. Not bad just different,  but this church wasn't that way at all.  Girls and guys alike wore what they wanted, some dressed up a little, some a lot, some it seemed not at all... And I only saw one woman with anything on her head.  We are changing our minds about our preconceived notions.  And we are going back next week.

Boy did I check off my list today

I was rocking this life this morning.  And I feel it all has to do with starting my morning with God.  So long as I'm able to sleep well in the night I have made it my goal to get up when Patrick gets up,  which actually wasn't working out because he let's his alarm go off so many times, he hardly has enough time to get ready, let alone eat breakfast if he has to wait for me to cook it.  So this morning I got up before him, made his breakfast and set it at the table and we ate together.  It was lovely.
Just after he left for work I started my daily bible reading and writing down my prayers.  I love this time in the morning, when I can pour my heart out to my heavenly daddy. .. And I have noticed a change in my journals over the last two years... positivity,  thankfulness,  and a general oppinion of the goodness of the God I serve.
The rest of the day was uneventful but accomplished.  I even enjoyed my children while reaching my goals. It's hard sometimes to stop and really enjoy your children when you have a lot of things to do, but I have been really putting in the effort and praying hard for God to help me to enjoy these children and to speak respectfully to them without yelling but still with authority. ... That is a hard job, but so far I think I'm doing pretty well.
Do you have goals for your parenting?  Have you seen God at work in your life in an area you didn't even know he was going to be improving?  I'd love to hear about it!

Little House on the rv lot

I feel like I'm failing.  There are so many things required of my time and none of them are getting a sufficient amount except perhaps my husband who though he is getting good attention and lots of love is also getting a lot of grumpy lady lately.  The gym membership has been wonderful because I'm getting showers and tiny breaks from the children but it is bad because I use a lot of energy and Micah isn't sleeping through the night this week.  And because my husband wants us ready to go as soon as he gets home which means I have to pack both of our gym bags and make sure the kids are ready to go with snacks and water, and Micah has been fed and had a nap. .. makes gym days pretty hectic until about 3:30pm.
Plus we were on track to end school two weeks before next school year began but now we are closer to one week of vacation because this week has been so crazy and we have not kept up in all subjects.
I'm having attitude problems this week too. Which of course means my children are too. The funny thing is, though my attitude stinks I have actually managed not to yell much at all, a goal I set for myself last week. .. To stop yelling. It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be but I really think it is God's grace that is helping me through it considering my horrible attitude.
My bad attitude is not just affecting the things mentioned above but also my thankfulness.  I have until this week really been enjoying living in our 5th wheel. .. But this week I'm not to thankful for it.  I want so badly to be near friends and don't want to start over again in making friends. It is hard work,  putting yourself out there to be judged by others and hoping you come out as a valuable relationship and then when you leave saying goodbye and trying hard to maintain the relationships but not really having much time to do it.  Honestly it stinks and takes a long time to do, just to leave again in the end.
I feel that way about being a doula too... I love my job but it is hard work to put yourself out there as much as you have to,  and then when rejection happens it honestly hurts but you have to remain professional, no crying or begging.
So I guess my little house simple life really isn't too simple.  I'm still drowning in dishes and laundry, still trying to be a good wife and mother,  still trying to make friends in a world that promotes loneliness.
Sorry for my bad attitude.  I will be praying and trying to improve on that before posting again, I just hoped to show you that though I love my life it isn't all sunshine and happiness.

To wiggle or cuddle that is the question.

Caeden was not a wiggly baby really. He loved to be near mama but didn't always have to be held; though there were times that he just couldn't be consoled by daddy he was usual a happy little guy.
Fia and Micah how ever are a bit different.  The more tired they get the closer to mama they need to be but the more they wiggle. This is not a good working relationship.  Currently I'm lying in bed nursing this 7 month old blessing and that sounds nice and cozy until I mention that I wrapped him in the outer edge of my blanket and then laid on it to prevent him from escaping and then laid my leg over his legs to keep him still.  He is almost asleep now so I no longer have to keep his arms pinned to my body so that is good.  And he isn't flexing his fingers on my skin to scrape me with his always sharp finger nails or pinching the skin of my side under my arm like he often likes to do.  And at this moment he looks sweet and innocent and nothing like the monkey I was wrestling for a nap moments ago.
I remember when getting Fia down for a nap I had to swaddle her regardless of age, she sleeps better or I should say faster when movement isn't an option for her.  And then I had to grip both of her feet in my hand and feed her a bottle with the other hand.  If the girl could wiggle or press her big toe on something the nap would not happen.
I do miss those days though.  My babies are growing up.  Caeden will be 6 the end of this year.  5 was hard 6 is harder.  At least I have some more time with my 5 year old before turning him over entirely to 6.
What fond little memories of your children's baby days do you have?

I need some cheese with this whine

Oh my good Lord Jesus! What a design you made!  Our bodies design is just incredible to me.  So many parts of life are just amazing. .. Today I am marveling at the muscular system.  Mostly because mine HURTS! But also because I am just amazed.  Did you know that muscle at rest will burn calories? So you can eat more and do less to maintain your self if you have more muscle than fat!  Of course muscle will disappear if you don't work it so you should of course work it,  but if you had a twin you, and one of you were in shape and the other you completely obese which one could eat and eat without gaining weight?  The skinny you. .. The fat you would gain weight on a tiny meal. Craziness!
I think God has such an incredible design! That does not mean that I have not had people be rude to me because they feel that I never gain weight. ..I have.  But I have also seen friends eat little exercise a lot and not change a thing about their body size. .. Why?  Because God's design has to be treated right to work right.  You need to eat.  You have to eat.  But here is the deal about exercise: if you excercise the same muscle group constantly it won't get stronger it will get weaker. .. You have to give those muscles a break so that they can build themselves up again.  30 minutes on a treadmill is great but a little weight training before that is better and it is best to only do all that 3-4 times a week.  If you let your muscles relax for a full day and work out again after a 48 hour break or close to it then you will find you can do far more and burn more calories over time than if you continually burn out those same muscles day after day. This is all according to the man at la fitness who runs the personal trainer program.
So all that being said I'm totally not going back to the gym for a few days!  I am so so so sore! I couldn't even sleep well because of the pain last night.
What new things are you doing in your family life?